


Roommates Beyond Borders

by leofitzsass (lady_smellen)



Category: Stitchers (TV)
Genre: Crack Fic, Fluff, Gen, Stitchers fan appreciation day, and furniture canoodling, canon complient, platonic, rated teen for mild cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-01 11:58:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5205041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_smellen/pseuds/leofitzsass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post season 1 finale. Linus and Camille make a bet to do with Kirsten which results in a wet carpet, some shameless furniture flirtation and some A+ blackmail material. Poor Cameron is an innocent bystander but plays a vital role in orchestrating the night's big revelation. (was that dramatic enough for you?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roommates Beyond Borders

**Author's Note:**

> This is my gift to Kelsey or tumblr user shesastitcher for stitchers fan appreciation day, really hope you enjoy :)  
> Also I'm aware the title isn't the quote, but was there ever really borders? I mean they were more like flimsy picket fences.
> 
> *Edit* because I'm a dope and forgot to link the playlist to match.... 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7auzP9RhCY&list=PLakZGWJVEIqcjxyjhRC6HlSlVXF_4QTnP

‘You sure we shouldn’t call Kirsten, ask if she wants to come hang out?’ Cameron asked while closing the door to his apartment.

‘No she’s playing catch up with some work she missed during her leave of absence, I think she’d rather be left alone’, her roommate explained.

Linus hummed his agreement as he parked himself on the couch, picking up his plastic steering wheel. ‘Yeah it’s probably better to just leave her be until she’s less, you know…. Uptight’.

‘She’s not uptight, she’s upset’, Camille was careful with her words, knowing the guilt Cameron felt for putting them in a terrifying situation, one that never came to fruition. ‘She wanted a little time away from the lab and I think it’s working, I heard her dancing around in her room a last night’.

Cameron wore a strange blend of relief and wistfulness on his face, while Linus just scoffed, ‘not sure I believe you’.

‘Suit yourself but I know what I heard’, she defended.

‘$20 says you’re wrong’.

Camille grabbed her jacket from the back of the sofa and made for the door, ‘we just ordered food, where are you going?’ Cameron asked, still leaning against the kitchen island where he’d watched the conversation unfold.

‘To win a bet!’ The door slammed hard enough to punctuate her point. The boys exchanged shrugs and as Linus chose his character, he chucked the other steering wheel to Cameron.

Camille arrived home to find Kirsten with her feet up on the coffee table, laptop resting on her legs, dinner ware beside her on the couch.

They didn’t speak much because she was working, but that suited Camille just fine because she had a few things to set up before she could start her antics anyhow.

* * *

 Linus’ phone pinged in his pocket, Cameron paused their race so he could check it.

‘Can I borrow your laptop?’ He asked his eyebrows furrowing.

Cameron passed his friend the laptop intrigue taking hold. Linus input a web address and the pair sat back while the page loaded.

‘Wait- is that- _what_ was that?’ Cameron stuttered as he found himself unexpectedly watching Kirsten working in her living room- at home- in her _own_ house.

‘Apparently it was an encrypted uplink to a livestr-’ Linus was cut off when music started to blare from the speakers.

* * *

 After a year of living with Camille, Kirsten found nothing unusual about her housemate strutting around their living room to Shania Twain.

She was dragging a sweeping brush behind her, periodically stopping in her tracks á la Presley to scream-mime at the handle.

Camille was giving her all to this southern belle routine, shoulder shimmies, boot heel clicks, all the fixings. But Kirsten just stared at her screen unfazed, she had work to do.

She probably wouldn’t have noticed the change in song if it wasn’t for Camille’s abrupt abandonment of the broom either.

Kirsten flinched after narrowly avoiding a smack in the face.

The second performance was certainly more _explosive_ than the first. And unfortunately for everyone involved the lip syncing had ceased and Camille was belting the lyrics to Firework as she improvised her own interpretive dance.

If Kirsten was being honest or complimentary, she might have called it 'impressively inventive'. But she didn’t because she was pretty sure her ears were about to start bleeding as Camille reached the natural frequency of her brain. And friends who subject friends to that kind of torture do not deserve praise.

The following track was annoyingly similar but in a lower key so she said nothing. However, somewhere on her trip to the kitchen with her dishes, this changed as Camille had decided to make Kirsten a prop in her clusterfuck of a show.

She was about to swallow the last of her water, when Camille grabbed both sides of her face from behind and shook as she yelled, ‘What the hell were you thinking?’

Kirsten whipped around, the water had sprayed onto the carpet, some was trickling down the sides of her mouth and Camille was struggling to suppress a laugh. ‘My thoughts exactly, are you _high_?’

 She simply sang a little louder, throwing her hands into the air in response and Kirsten stalked into the kitchen.

* * *

 Camille pulled a ‘whoops’ face at the web cam when the blonde was out of eye line.

‘We’re recording this right?’

Cameron hadn’t thought of that, he checked the pop up at the bottom of the screen and saw it was automatic. Even if he stopped it now there was virtually nothing he could do to help Linus from exploiting it. So he just nodded covering his mouth, fear of Kirsten’s reaction etched on his face.

‘Good!’

Seeing as neither of them were on camera, Cameron decided to go plate up his dinner which had arrived at some stage during All Star. Unfortunately he wasn’t far enough away to miss Linus’ musings about the display.

‘I mean, it’s wild in a chaotic way but tame compared t- Oooh never mind’, Cam quirked an eyebrow at seeing Linus squint at the screen.

He walked back over, setting a plate in front of each of them and muttered, ‘Oh dear God’, when he glimpsed the screen and thought of what was going to happen when Kirsten found out he stood by quietly and let this happen.

* * *

 Kirsten was in the kitchen long enough to miss both a genre and outfit change. Camille was now donning a pair of harem track pants, a crop top, gold chains and – ‘ _where_ did you find a snap back?’

Camille just shrugged, thrusting her hips into the air and grabbing the crotch that fell down by her knees. Kirsten rolled her eyes and went back to working on her algorithm.

It never usually lasted this long but she figured twerking upside down against a wall would be tiring for anybody, Camille would wear herself out eventually.

But that didn’t happen and with every passing verse her stage seemed to be edging closer and closer to Kirsten’s comfort zone.

Camille knew her friend was trying to work but she was going to have to shoot that horse in the face if she wanted Linus to eat his words. She was straddled on the arm of the couch chanting the lyrics to 50 Cent and Kirsten was looking at her like she’d sprouted a dick on her forehead but Camille promised herself it was worth it.

‘Climb on top, ride like you in a rodeo’, as she slid her hands down her torso she dropped her last resort, an insurance policy into Kirsten’s lap. Out of view from the camera.

Unwinding the ball of paper she read: 10 bucks if you get off your sweet ass and dance with me right now.

Kirsten faltered for a second but caught herself, realising they must be being watched if she couldn’t speak directly. Not that Camille was ever really direct but this was excessive behaviour even for her.

So as the song wound down Kirsten made a show of moving from her spot and picking up the remotes that had fallen on the floor during her roommates romp with the sofa. As she did so, she had a quick sconce around the room, careful not to give herself away.

She then walked over and swapped out Camille’s playlist for her own and pressed play but not before sending a text from her own phone.

‘If we’re going to dance, it’ll be to my music’, Kirsten demanded, she was only met with a shit eating smirk.

* * *

 ‘Looks like Camille’s about to make bank’, Cameron shouted just before he heard Linus scramble his way out of the bathroom.

Walking back into the room he deadpanned, ‘you have got to be _kidding_ me’.

Cameron didn’t need to reply though because his colleague was back in his seat, gaping for himself. After a while Linus turned to see his friend’s grin and whacked him in the arm. ‘Why do you have to look so pleased?’

‘Hey it’s your bet, makes no odds to me. Besides when’s the last time you saw Kirsten smile that big?’ He asked as he gestured back to the giddy goats on the monitor. He mentally catalogued that nickname for later use.

‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen her smile…. Unless sarcasm or smirking counts?’

‘Well I have and I’ve missed it since-’ he hesitated a moment, ‘until now’.

Cameron felt creepy, like he was intruding on this intimate moment between friends, even if one of them did set up the live feed. He averted his eyes as he thought about turning it off, there point was made but that’s when he saw the notification on his lock screen.

 **BALLBUSTER:** Her laptop on the chair under the table, you’re watching this. Why?

He shot back a reply without Linus noticing and looked back in time to see Kirsten gesture she needed a second, she mumbled something about checking an alert on her work.

 **GIRLFRIEND:** short version is Linus says you’re no fun and Camille says she can prove otherwise!

 **BALLBUSTER:** Screw him! Also you recorded that right?

He chuckled and was just about to reply when she ran back over to Camille. Cameron wouldn’t have anticipated her reaction in a million years.

When the next song came on she challenged Camille to a ‘sing off’ using the sweeping brush as a microphone once again.

For a minute they shared it but when Camille realised how out of her depth she was, she left Kirsten alone centre stage. Going to her roommate’s old spot, she turned the speakers down with the remote and sat back eyes wide in shock.

* * *

 ‘If our love’s insanity, why are you my clarity?’

Kirsten left of as strong as she started but Cameron didn’t have the luxury of basking in her smile because- ‘She _sings_?’

* * *

 


End file.
